Whither
Family Life
by David Kilgour, M.P.,
Edmonton Southeast
November 1, 1995
(published in Canadian Social Studies
Magazine, Spring 1996, Vol. 30,
No. 3)
"The upheaval is evident
everywhere in our culture. Babies
have babies, kids refuse to grow
up and leave home, affluent yuppies
value their BMWs more than children,
rich and poor children alike blot
their minds with drugs, people
casually move in with each other
and out again," said Newsweek
in a special edition devoted to
the 21st Century Family a number
of years ago. In Canada, where
the overall state of family life
appears to be healthier than in
the U.S., one in five of families
raising children today are single
parent ones. In 1992, nearly four-fifths
of female-headed single parent
Canadian families with children
under seven years lived below
the poverty line, although many
single parents in fact do a superior
job in child-rearing than more
affluent two parent ones.
Angus Reid released a report
on the state of the family in
Canada last year: overall, the
study found a strong belief that
Canada’s families are in
crisis (63%). The reasons they
are perceived to be in difficulty
include the "rate of divorce
and instability of the family
unit" (28%), "financial
difficulties" (15%), "lack
of values in society" (18%),
"violence and crime"
(13%) and "unemployment"
(12%).
The growth of women’s participation
in the labour force is the result
of both necessity and preference.
In 1911, just over 16% of Canadian
women held jobs outside the home;
in 1991, this jumped to 58%. Today,
62% of Canadian families are dual
earners; a fifth of these dual
earners each work more than 40
hours per week, and 61% of dual
earner families have children
less than three years of age.
With dual earner parents, a fifth
of our children go home to an
empty house after school. We are
increasingly realizing that opting
for independence and self-expression
exacts a price: a diminished quality
of life. The often challenging
task of balancing work and family
creates much stress and tension
for spouses and takes a toll in
diminished family life and child
welfare.
Costs of Not Caring
for Children
The weakening of the family structure
has hurt Canadians generally.
As September ‘95 statistics
released by UNICEF indicate, Canada
has one of the highest teen suicide
rates in the world; only New Zealand
with 15.7 suicides per 100,000,
and Finland with 15 were higher.
The number of teen suicides in
Canada has been steadily rising
and has increased four-fold since
1960. While psychologists cannot
pinpoint reasons why teens kill
themselves, particularly young
men, they point to problems with
relationships, depression and
poverty.
The number of homeless youth
across Canada is estimated at
between 100,000 and 200,000. Ruth Ewert, a social worker who works
with homeless youth in Toronto
at Yonge Street Mission’s
Evergreen Ministry says that four-fifths
of them are from middle- to upper-income
homes. The majority of our runaways
are from broken families. Street
workers say that only six percent
of runaway kids are looking for
street adventure; the rest are
running "away from their
families," from abusive or
neglectful homes, and from agency
care such as group and foster
homes. "Kids get in the way
of parents meeting their own individual
needs", said the President
of Compassion Canada,
David MacLeod.
A study by the Addiction Research
Foundation examined the link between
aspects of family life and smoking,
heavy drinking, drug use, delinquency,
and drinking and driving. The
results showed that the strength
of family relationships has more
impact on children’s behaviour
than their family’s structure.
"Youth who feel relationships
within the family are important
and who spend time with their
families, were much less likely
to engage in drug use and other
problem behaviour", said
one of the ARF scientists.
School Violence
Violence in Canadian schools
is an increasingly serious problem:
an Environics survey conducted
in mid-1993 revealed that violence
is the top educational concern,
even surpassing academic standards.
For example, a survey conducted
in Alberta showed that fully half
of the teachers reported that
physical and emotional abuse is
on the increase. Though results
of surveys varied regionally,
one thing on which there was a
common agreement was that there
is an increasing concern for violence
among children and youth. Many
teachers attributed violence in
schools to societal factors such
as the economy, the permissiveness
of violence in our society and
the media, or overemphasis on
individual rights with an underemphasis
on individual responsibility,
a perceived lack of sanctions
in the Young Offenders Act, a
lack of religious faith and general
moral decay in communities.
Children at Risk
The 1995 report by the Centre
for Educational Research and Innovation
at the OECD in Paris looks at
children and youth "at risk".
It draws on country reports and
case studies from 17 OECD member
countries and three foundations
and addresses pre-school, school
age and transition-to-work periods,
and draws some policy implications.
Children at risk come from a
variety of disadvantaged backgrounds,
the report states; they fail to
reach the necessary standards
in school, often drop-out and
as a consequence experience real
problems being integrated into
accepted patterns of social responsibility,
work and adult life. The result
of this failure can have tragic
results for individual families
and society. Various predictive
factors have been identified:
poverty, family issues and family
arrangements, poor knowledge of
the language of instruction, type
of school attended and community
factors such as poor housing.
Manifestations of a failure to
integrate successfully into society
include health problems, substance
and drug abuse, crime, and early
pregnancy. Manifestations of school
problems are also well known:
low attainment; low satisfaction
and self-esteem; lack of participation;
truancy; school refusal; drop-out;
behaviour problems/aggression
in boys, careless approach to
risk of early pregnancy in girls
and delinquency.
The right educational experiences
over time can help to optimize
the chances of success for all
students, but the authors recognize
that schooling is only one influence
on a child’s development
and can thus play only a limited
part in their education. Effective
education necessitates bringing
together the family, the school
and the community. Youth at risk
are likely to have had unsatisfactory
experiences in one or more of
these, concludes the report.
Not enough was noted in the OECD
study about factors that allow
some youths to overcome adversity
and why some are resilient. The
factors identified as most significant
were support in the family or
the support of some identified
person . Schools were seen by
some countries as having an important
role to play in this area, not
only in terms of emotional support
but also in providing positive
visions of the future for the
child. The concept of "at
risk" is essentially an optimistic
one, the report says; it implies
prevention in contrast to remedial
approaches. Preventive action
is required during all school
age years, and a full understanding
of the complex ways in which families
from many different cultures function.
It requires flexible school organization,
curricula and teaching to meet
the educational and social needs
of children and their families
as well as community wishes.
Hollywood Values
On average, Canadian, American
and European adults and children
watch three hours of television
a day, and, with both parents
often away at work, television
has become the main socializer
of our children by default. The
negative effects of television
watching on young viewers has
now been established conclusively.
Numerous studies on the effects
of violence in the media on children
indicate there is a correlation
between exposure to television
violence and aggressive tendencies
and anti-social behaviour.
The Detroit News
journalist George Cantor captured
the role of the entertainment
industry in American society in
describing how Barbra Streisand
sang about children, parents and
values at the inauguration festivities
for President Clinton. Cantor:
"But it is a little unnerving
hearing this lesson being preached
by a member of the entertainment
community. It would be hard to
cite another segment of American
life that has been more corrosive
in values, more undermining of
parental authority than show business.
In its virtual non-stop celebration
of sex without love, violent behaviour,
contempt for religion, hatred
of country, adultery - the industry
stands alone as a source of concern
for parents who care about what
their children listen to and see."
He concluded by suggesting that
show business clean up its own
act before lecturing the rest
of the country. "Children
will listen, children will see."
Recently, the influential New
York Post film critic
and author Michael Medved said
that the American entertainment
industry has lost touch with the
family values, beliefs and reality
of most North Americans. During
his presentation at a "Media
Values vs. Family Values"
seminar in Canada, he denounced
prime time TV (U.S.) as "the
most violent ghetto in America".
He cited a Newsweek
poll which indicated 82 percent
of Americans think Hollywood is
out of touch with our basic values.
Canadians, he suggested, should
divert the 21 hours a week we
watch TV and use the time with
family, friends, reading and pursuing
other interests.
Benjamin Spock with 60 years
of experience in pediatrics and
political activism does not believe
the North American family is finished.
He thinks trends can be reversed
if we’ll face them and work
on them. First, we should try
to influence and change government
priorities, he says; second, we
must approach the raising of our
children with a new and different
spirit. Spock believes that ordinary
citizens should influence policy
makers by intense lobbying, letter
writing, etc., to redirect money
from arms spending to subsidize
mothers or fathers (particularly
single ones) who would prefer
to stay home with young children.
Money should also go to subsidize
high-quality day-care for children
of couples who must or choose
to pursue careers. Spock believes
American children get their values,
consumerism, competitiveness and
brutality from television. "Parents
can make a profound difference,"
he says, by teaching moral and
spiritual values - helpfulness,
cooperation, generosity, love
- throughout childhood.
The Future
As we enter the 21st century,
one can only hope that the most
important institution in any society
will adapt to increasing outside
pressures and successfully face
down forces that break it apart.
Leaders of governments with family-oriented
policies have a role to play in
reducing poverty, unemployment,
violence, divorce and other negative
phenomena threatening family stability.
Many point at more flexible work
arrangements such as flextime,
work at home, part-time work,
and rotating shifts which will
enable both parents to care for
their children. Others say correctly
that our tax systems discriminate
heavily against spouses who stay
home with their young children.
Some sociologists see fathers
taking more home and family responsibilities,
and though complete family equality
is still probably far-fetched,
some agree that by 2020 a majority
of men married to working wives
will share equally in the responsibilities
at home. Families will continue
to change, adapt and respond to
outside pressures, government
policies, economic and social
environment, etc. Ultimately,
whether the family is successful
as the institution which provides
sustenance and love to its members
will depend on its ability to
teach and pass on its values and
code of morals to the next generation.
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